Life Update
Run Challenge: With 6 days left to go, the run challenge is drawing to an end. Quite a few people have ran well over 100k since the start, which is amazing. If you’re still on the challenge, finish strong! LET'S GO TEAM!
Book Club: After 2 months, we’re done reading Atomic Habits. After the hype of the first quarter wears away, it's only discipline (check out last week’s piece on it here) and effective habits that will keep you going and this book was so timely for that. A fuller review should come soon, sharing some of the key lessons with you guys.
More importantly, our next book is “A taste of Power” by Elaine Brown starting 30th May.
If you want to join the book club, email me: nanay@hotmail.co.uk
New Role: Yesterday, I was announced as part of next year's new leadership team for a Christian fellowship at my university. Accepting the call to join was definitely not an easy one, considering the various programs and groups I already run. However, for a while I’ve felt burdened to serve within a Christian context, having always done “ministry” out in the secular world. As I reach the end of my tenure on other responsibilities, I’m excited for the experiences I’ll have on this one. This role is going to be a great opportunity to develop my teaching gift and just propagate love toward people. Imma need all your prayers!
The notion of being self-made is over-glorified and more often than not, simply untrue. We’ve all been a beneficiary of someone's kindness or outstretched hand. Claiming “self-made” often acts as a pompous indicator of ingratitude and lack of reverence for those before you. Many had to walk so we can run, and many of our parents made unimaginable sacrifices for us to have the opportunities we do now. Further, it’s virtually impossible to be self-made in our times. It’s a fable we’ve extolled, that has led people to disregard and underutilise the help that’s available. Regretfully, we’ve desired to struggle in the wrong areas, forsaking the aid of people who mean well.
It would be unwise for me to suggest no one is self-made; there may well be some who are, that have had to overcome adversity alone. I congratulate them, for their efforts. But the lone wolf story isn’t mine and probably isn’t yours either. Accept the help that’s available for you.
Far from self-made
I've always said, I wouldn't have accomplished a lot of the things I have without the giants in my life. At every stage, I believe it’s always beneficial to have a giant's shoulder to stand on. I've fortunately always had people prodding me along the way, redirecting my efforts in a more efficient way to reap a larger harvest. From my parents who’ve consistently provided, to teachers and mentors that I've crossed paths with, I’m a beneficiary of many people's time and effort poured into my life. I almost personify the result of the “village” raising the child; reflecting what’s possible with collective effort and the acceptance of help. After the awards, scholarships, and recognition I've received over the years; me thanking the ones who have helped me has never made the achievement feel any less. The support I received didn’t negate my personal responsibility for my success. In fact, it was a sign of my self-awareness and desire to succeed.
Thought: Is anyone ever really self-made? By definition I guess you can’t make yourself, it takes two to tango loool. But more seriously, could someone really go through life without any support systems, people nudging them or offering any opportunities? Life would be so difficult if there was no help, if that was the case all of us “can never make it.”
Accept the help
Don’t despise help along the way, it can make the journey so much smoother. There have been people who I didn't necessarily like that I had to suck up my pride and work with because I realised there was a value they would add. We’re never the best at everything. From analysing entrepreneurs and CEOs, I’ve realised that they're rarely the best at everything so people are hired to do the stuff they can’t do or aren’t as proficient at doing. In an interview, with Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant’s personal trainer he spoke of how he was hired by each of them to take them to the next level. Despite being perhaps the best basketball players to ever live, they recognised their need of support to get them to the next level. They’d reached heights in the game that hadn’t been traversed before, needing just some fine-tuning to reach the next summit. Marginal improvements are the hardest to make, requiring focus on the smallest intricacies that often require expert advice. Allow yourself to get better. Give yourself the opportunity to filter your energies towards performing, whilst others help with the rest.
To borrow a phrase I once heard from Karl Lokko in an interview “staff the weaknesses” so you can enhance your strength
Resistance to help
I’ve been resistant to help, substantiated by various fears. The biggest has always been that they may throw it back in my face. Asking for help opened me up to a level of vulnerability I hadn’t gym’d for, as vulnerability is a strength. Other times, it was perhaps the desire to say “I did it all alone” that caused me to shun the outstretched hands. I’d let pride get the better of me, making big errors in an attempt to contain all the glory from the story. As I began to accept help more and more, the fears pierced less. Logically, any futile attempts to claim royalties on any successes meant nothing, I’d already won. When I consider some of the most successful individuals, their achievements were rarely an individual effort. Casting eyes on Lewis Hamilton and his F1 team cemented my view on the importance of collective efforts.
The ultimate position
Accepting help often requires a laying down of some sort. Surrender is the ultimate position of strength. Preceding the acceptance of aid comes the acknowledgement for it. If you’re not ready for human help, there’s a greater help out there (I heard somebody in the back say “that’s good.”) One whose strength is made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9.) One who doesn’t want you to go it alone, but wants to do life with you (John 14:18.) One that doesn't outline everything wrong with you and leaves you there, but one that works through it all with you (Ezekiel 36:26.) A help that won’t throw it back in your face or hold you hostage in the memory of where you were before (Romans 8:1.) What brings me so much joy and encouragement is that our helper isn’t a far, distant, nebulous being that can't relate, but as Hebrews 4:15-16 so beautifully puts it “15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
If there’s something you need help with, that I could support with don’t hesitate to give me a shout. We may not all have the same amount of help available, but whatever is there we should endeavour to use.
God bless,
NYA