Rethinking success

Bringing subjectivity back to success

I often think about success. It’s a topic I partially explored in “Thought: perhaps that’s success” where I reflected on the life of a woman I met whilst on Mission, who had dedicated her life to serving the people of Tenerife. Her counter-cultural story was nothing less than inspirational, almost spurring my intellectual exploration of success metrics. Fundamentally, how we perceive and measure success is flawed. Our criterion fails to tailor to our individuality, instead, it integrates external presuppositions of success. 

In ones’ journey of understanding self (which is continuous) it’s vital that we adapt our perceptions of success; considering and embracing both our capabilities and handicaps. 

Be the protagonist in your story

We’re all born into someone else’s story, but it’s our responsibility to write our own. Many of us have found ourselves living in narratives prescribed for us, as extensions of someone else's superimposed story. In an attempt to honour and appease the seed investments made, we default on our own passions. There’s a boldness and courage required to break these moulds that so often don’t fit. I often ask myself if my goals reflect my own desires or opinions cast upon me. Being trapped in expectation, I’ve sometimes found myself striving for something I simply had no desire for. It was as if someone had set the goal, and I mindlessly embarked on the journey, disregarding my passions and alternative pathways. I’m growing to learn that the unconventional routes can bare dividends if we allow ourselves to explore them. My aim isn’t to conjure up rebellion, but to stir up thought on our motivations and the stories we’re writing for ourselves. 

Thought: Can anyone ever feel fulfilled solely pursuing the expectations set on them? I find the most “successful” people wrote their own stories, despite what may have been prescribed for them. There’s a beauty in telling your story. Stories reveal truth, enabling others to authentically live out there’s also. 

Define success for yourself 

Defining success on a general level is almost impossible. With each person's unique portfolio of gifts and backgrounds, it would be improper to standardise success.  The paradoxical nature of every individual's uniqueness creates a subjective measure of success that harms if not embraced. The interconnectedness of our lives, although beneficial, so often cripples our view of success when we subscribe to the general consensus. Culture almost creates an objective scope of success, which we must veer away from. Ask yourself, would I know a good day if I saw one? Because we haven’t uncovered what success looks like for us, we struggle to acknowledge personal wins. In conversation with an individual who’d reached the pinnacle of their industry, he said “define success not just for your career, but for your life.” As we spoke, he reflected on his 40+ years in his career and mentioned his only regret being him not considering his family and personal life more when envisioning success. For him, it was imperative to wholistically consider each facet of his life when figuring out succcess. Further, finding meaning should be a heavy consideration. Happiness and meaning aren’t synonymous, meaning transcends circumstance and gives reason to carry on.  

Run your own race

Don't compare where you don't compete. I wrote more thoroughly in my piece “A disrespect to ART”, reinforcing how detrimental it can be to our growth. When we compare ourselves, it reveals an inner brokenness. It creates an insatiable desire to be more and do more, to feel valid or accepted by measuring ourselves relative to others. Our insecurities are inflamed, desires exacerbated and emotions spiralled. What adds to the harm of an objective view of success is the compulsion to follow a timeline of achievements. After a project doesn't “blow” in the first couple of months we regard it as a failure. Success has no deadline, it isn't dependent on a predetermined timeline. Whilst running our individual races, our view of success must match the rhythm of our souls. Ultimately, our metric needs to be tailored to us. 

The Ultimate success

To experience genuine fulfilment you will have to reimagine what success looks like. For believers, success goes beyond simply getting to heaven (because that’s guaranteed), but it’s best impacting the world before you leave it, in response to the great commission.

It’s almost fully living out your story, as part of the greater one. 

Thanks for reading,

NYA